Ok, everyone. I’m going to need a Star Wars moment.
The very last Star Wars trailer EVER* came out last night during Monday Night Football. One might ask what Star Wars and football have in common, but I’m going to go ahead and let you know: Rey dominates both of them. Just because she has never played a football game, yet, doesn’t mean that she would not blow into that fourth quarter and get touchdown after touchdown and rub it in Kylo Ren’s FACE.
Or at least, that’s my takeaway.
This trailer is big big big and we all know it. There are so many things that appear to be happening: Palpatine is back! C3P0 might die! REY IS TOTALLY GOING TO SLAY KYLO I THINK BUT MAYBE THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS?! And last, but certainly not least, my girl, my queen, my goddess of the day, the night, and the beyond, Carrie Fisher, will be in 9th and final installment and just seeing her face on the screen made my cry so I can’t even imagine what watching her on the big screen one more time will do.
Now that my feelings are mostly out of the way, let’s break this trailer down, step by step:
- The trailer opens in some kind of jungle-y beautiful land. Where is it? We don’t know. It sounds like it has crickets. We are immediately assured that Rey will continue to be the coolest addition to Star Wars.
- Luke is narrating over the footage: “It’s an instinct. A feeling. The Force brought us together.”
- There is a big team meeting! It looks like Lando (bless) is in charge.
- There’s a lot of narration going on that you should probably just watch the trailer for. It’s set against a tumultuous sea. It’s all blue and frothy and angsty and JJ Abrams is really being poetic here.
- Rey: “People keep telling me they know me. Well, no one does.”
- BUT THEN KYLO REN IS ALL “BUT I DO” (but does he?!?!?!”
- Cool ice planet! TIE fighters!
- There’s a Palpatine voice-over that is TRULY spooky. “Long have I waited. And now, you’re coming together.” Obviously, the Sith Lords love it when the baby Sith brings a Jedi friend to come play. Think Palpatine, Luke, and Vader. Man, that guy is pretty evil.
- The most distressing moment is EASILY when C3P0 tells us he’s looking at his friends… “One last time.” I knew that this trilogy would be all about destroying the past and killing it if you have to (because Kylo told us so), but I did not realize that could extend to the droids. (Unpopular opinion coming) Han? I can live without Han. But taking C3P0 is a particular brand of cruel that I didn’t know Abrams had in him.
- The last minute is all fire and battles and amazing footage, along with more cool voiceovers, sunshine, and CARRIE FISHER . There’s talk about destiny, some cheering, and heavy hints that Rey and Kylo will be enemies, or maybe friends, or maybe frenemies, like they were always meant to.
Of course, there’s one BURNING question the trailer still did not answer: will Space Boyfriends ever be a real thing, or will all of us Finn-Poe shippers have our hearts wasted?
*I say ever, but not counting all the side films, we all know that the people at Star Wars love nothing more than… rebooting Star Wars every 10-20 years. I’m here for Episodes 10-12, hopefully coming to a theater near you beginning in 2035.