Into even the smallest of lives, some unbelievable wonder falls. Too bad no one will believe it. Even if you have a reputation for brutal honesty, there are some things that happen to a person in their life that you better have witnesses for.
Twitter user @mhoye decided to give everyone an opportunity to air these special events by asking followers “what’s the least plausible story about yourself that’s true.” The request blew up, because apparently a lot of people have been sitting on some crazy-ass stories for a long, long time.
Some comments are clearly jokes, but most of the stories are almost too weird to make up—or a little too on the nose, like this story about being related to the creator of Pinocchio. Is your nose growing, @AJLorenzini?
There are several stories of muggings that turned out surprisingly well:
Though one openly incorporates lying:
Sure, the ferrets made your dad not go to work:
Does anyone believe Tommy Wiseau had an acting coach?
This just sounds like bad audience etiquette:
There are stories that incorporate famous people, like Mr. Worldwide:
And also famous locations, like a movie set contaminated with poop:
But the stories of coincidence might be the best ones:
And the stories that remind you to clear all your past debts to society ASAP:
Some of these stories seem like they were lifted from the movies:
Both rom-coms and horror flicks:
Or maybe an animated movie about plucky pets:
But basically nothing that has to do with science or medical trauma seems real. How do any of us manage to live so long?
And how do you say no to Justin Bieber? The answer is apparently that you can’t:
But I believe this one, because nothing is more useful than a towel:
And this one, because McDonald’s is like this:
Whether you believe any of these stories or not, they make a fascinating read. And amongst all the tall tales, there’s a least this one guy who brought the receipts: