Lin-Manuel Miranda: Broadway superstar, Twitter motivational speaker, and, now, internet gross-out artist.
Miranda has broken the beacon of positivity and funky rhymes that is his Twitter account, as well as a certain part of his flesh vessel. Earlier today, he posted a poll to see whether or not the internet wanted the pleasure of seeing his — wait for it — dead fingernail.
What would possess him to post such an inquiry? Was it boredom, or did he want to ignite the fires of internet chaos and watch us absolutely lose it? With Miranda’s posts, it’s always hard to tell.
My dead fingernail that I jammed in a door a month ago finally came off
Y’all wanna see
— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) July 12, 2019
You would think that any normal human being would respond with a resounding “Please, no.” But Miranda even tried to sweeten the pot by stating he would only show the gross, bloody finger with the baby nail, and not the dead nail itself. Like that would somehow make it better.
But, as you can clearly see above, because we are all heathens and somehow no one could control themselves, it was time for some dead fingernail action. The popular vote had spoken. Lucky us.
This is the time for us to plaster a big WARNING here. What you are about to see below is graphic, and, at best, “eww”-inducing. If you are faint of heart, or just have common sense, avert your eyes. Otherwise, proceed.
Well, you did ask for it (40,000 people! What is wrong with you??) And here is it. But that doesn’t mean that some people didn’t regret their voting decision almost immediately.
Elections have consequences.
— Monica Bisha (@MonicaBisha) July 12, 2019
I regret voting excuse me as I bleach my eyes
— angie (@ajthemilkyway) July 12, 2019
i guess we asked for it
— mindhunter’s pr agent (@pascalfilms) July 12, 2019
I’d like to change my vote
— Bert Tortellini (@bmav108) July 12, 2019
You reap what you sow, voters! As for Miranda, can someone please get this man another Broadway deal before he posts more boredom-induced cursed content. I will personally bribe the Academy myself to complete his EGOT if he never posts another bloody finger again.