I don’t want to plan every single date. I don’t want to be the one stuck doing all the work.
I want you to value my opinion. I want you to take my recommendations. I want you to ask me whether I would rather spend the weekend getting drunk or having lazy afternoons inside. I want you to let me pick the restaurant and the movie and the date plans. Most of the time.
But once in a while, I want you to take charge. I want you to plan dates on your own, without any outside help from me. I want you to surprise me by bringing me to a place I have never been before. I want you to do all of the work so I get the chance to lean back and relax for a change.
Even if you cannot plan out entire dates on your own, then at least give me some assistance. When I ask you what you want to do that day or where you want to eat, I am not hoping you will say, “You can decide.” I am asking you because I want you to help me. I want to hear your opinion. I don’t want to handle everything on my own.
I want you to throw out some ideas, to provide some options, to make me feel like you are putting effort into our date nights the way I have been.
I’m thankful I’m not trapped in a controlling relationship where you make every decision, where you disregard my opinion because you couldn’t care less about my thoughts. I appreciate how willing you are to listen to my opinion and to go along with my plans. I am happy you value my judgement. That means everything to me.
However, it would be nice not to feel the pressure of making every single decision on my own. Sometimes I am in the mood for a specific movie or restaurant — but other times I do not want to bear the burden of choosing.
It can be stressful picking which activity to complete and what time to leave the house so we arrive on time and which roads to follow to reach our destination without hitting too much traffic. That is why I want you to take control, just for a little while, just so I have a chance to breathe.
I am happy to plan date nights — but I don’t want to plan every single one. I don’t want to feel like I am in a one-sided relationship where I have to do everything while you get to enjoy the results without lifting a finger.
I know you are only letting me make the decisions to be nice, because you think it will make me happy, but that is not what I want. I want you to take charge. I want you to have an opinion. I want you to plan dates every once in a while so I don’t have to make every single decision in our relationship.