Don’t tell me you want to get drinks with me soon and that you hope to see me over the weekend and that you miss me like mad. Don’t make false promises about how you are going to take me out to fancy dinners and invite me out with your friends and travel around the world on vacations with me.
Don’t lie to me because even though I might not realize you are bullshitting me in that moment, the truth will come out eventually. I will figure out that you were only saying what I wanted to hear and had zero intention of spending that time with me.
I am sick of getting my hopes up, so please don’t make hypothetical plans with me that you are never going to follow through on. I don’t want to miss out on the chance to spend time with friends who actually give a shit about me because I am sitting at home, expecting to see you instead.
So don’t get me excited about seeing you soon and then turn around and claim you are too busy with work whenever I ask to hang out. Don’t wait until the last second, after I have already showered and shaved and made myself look pretty, to inform me you are canceling our plans for the night. Don’t disappoint me. Don’t play games with me. Don’t screw me over.
I know what you have been doing. You have been keeping me on hold as a backup plan. If you have nothing better to do, then you will decide to spend time with me, but if a better offer comes along (which apparently happens often) then you will ignore me. You will pretend that you forgot about our plans or that something came up.
Sometimes you won’t even do me the courtesy of answering my texts when I ask you if you are free. You don’t even have the balls to say no so that I have the freedom to make other plans. Instead you will ignore me and then come up with some ridiculous excuse about how you weren’t looking at your phone or how you or your battery died — or won’t give any excuse at all because you don’t believe I deserve that much.
I am tired of making plans with you, imagining how much fun we are going to have inside of my head, and then being crushed by the reality that you are never going to show up on my doorstep. You are never going to give me what you have been offering. You are only going to keep making hypothetical plans in case you need me one day.
I want to put an end to this. Stop promising to hang out with me and then backing out of our plans. Stop getting me excited about seeing you and then ending my nights with disappointment. Stop making me feel like an idiot for waiting and waiting and waiting for you when it’s clear you do not care about me in the least.