Cheese puns are the best kind of humor for a cheese-lover. These cheese puns are very gouda and totally not cheesey!

What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?


What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?

“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”

What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?

“I’m mature for my age.”

What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?

“You make me melt.”

What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?

“I dis a brie.”

Cheese Puns

What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?

“You gouda brie kidding!”

What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?

The curdles.

What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?

“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”

What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?

R n’ Brie.

Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?

His pick-up line was too cheesey.

Cheese Puns

How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?

They tell you they are pretty fondue you.

What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?


What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?


What kind of cheese to beavers eat?


What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?

Epistemology and fetaphysics.

What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?

Build a roquefort.

What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?

Forever provolone.

How did the cheese professor start class every day?

Oh queso…

What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?

Nacho Man.

How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?

“I think you and I would look gouda together.”

Cheese Puns

What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?

Looking sharp!

What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?

To brie or not to brie.

What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?

“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”

What is a lion’s favorite cheese?


What cheese is made backwards?


What cheese cries the most?


Why did the cheese get in trouble?

It was up to no gouda.

Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?

It’s a hole business strategy.

What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?

Make America grate again.

Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?

Someone always cuts the cheese.

Cheese Puns

What do you call a socialite made of cheese?

Paris Stilton.

What kind of cheese makes the best music?


Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?

The feta business bureau.

How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?


Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?

It was only mild.

What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?

A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.

What do they say when you leave the cheese store?

Have a gouda day!

Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?

In queso emergency.

Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?

It was too gouda to be true.

What do you call referential cheese?


Cheese Puns

What did the commedian say after after a bad set?

That crowd was laughtose intolerant.

What kind of cheese protects a castle?


How do you get a mouse to smile?

Say cheese.

Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?

He had grater plans.

Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?

It got provolonely.

What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?

“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”

What drives cheese crazy?

That everyone around them is crackers.

How can you tell when a cheese is depressed?

They get kinda blue.

Who were the first cheese lovers ever?

Edam and Eve.

How did the cheese get such curly hair?

It got a permasan.

Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?

How dairy.

What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?


What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?

The Stilton.

What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?


Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?

He was scared there was a munster under the bed.

What were the cheese’s wedding vows?

To havarti and to hold.

What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?

He cantal.

Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?

He was tired of the daily rind.

Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?

All that’s left is da brie.

What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?

Cheese sticks.

What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?


What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?

Feta wap.

What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?

You cheddar few pounds.

Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?

It’s hole-y.

What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?


Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?

His wife gave him a restraining order.

What do you call a flying cheese?

A curd of prey.

What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?

Cheez it.

Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?

In queso emergency.

What do you call cheese who attends art openings?


What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?

Ricotta get through this.

How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?

Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.

Why do cheeses make bad musicians?

They’re always sharp.

What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?

Brie mine.

Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?

The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.

What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?

You’re cheddar off without him! TC mark

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