Navigating the modern world of text one-liners and trying to get someone you’re romantically interested in to talk to you can be a self-effacing exercise in setting yourself up for rejection and humiliation.
I don’t see how it’d ever be as bad as getting rejected in person, but all of us have experienced those butterflies and maybe the crushing disappointment of texting that special someone who didn’t reciprocate your feelings.
Hopefully if that’s ever happened to you, however, you went about it a heck of a lot better than the hapless peeps who texted people out of nowhere in the name of love. Every which way they went about it is bad, bad news.
Like this individual who thought that they’d start a random text by pretending to be a physical therapy office. I’ve heard of awkward opening lines, but acting like you’re trying to book a doctor’s appointment? What was this guy’s game plan?
He very quickly abandons whatever hair-brained, PT scheme he’d concocted in order to start a conversation with “Rachel” and then resorts to the most despicable form of speech imaginable: baby talk. Ugh.
Our unfortunate gentleman who was the recipient of these texts does everything that he can in order to prove that this person has the wrong number. He even sends the dude a photo of his face, but it just isn’t enough.
The person is convinced that this dude knows Rachel in some capacity and won’t back down otherwise. But at least we learn that this clueless texter thinks the guy he texted accidentally has nice cheekbones.
Then a complete 180 occurs and the man devolves into insulting the man with a jibe way out of left field.
If the person who sent the original PT text is reading this: one, you should get some help. And two, maybe console yourself with the fact that there are other people out there who are as woefully awkward and mean as you.
Like this dude up above who thought that he came up with the pick-up line of all pick-up lines. Seriously, who starts a conversation with someone they’re trying to flirt with over text like that? Even if you have that kind of sense of humor among your friends, you want that to be your first impression, really?
Then there was this weird text exchange up above between a Redditor and a member of her family that she just connected with for the first time through the magic of the internet. “I guess we’re relatives” (shudders).
How about this total creepazoid who propositions a stranger online out of nowhere, and then tries to make her seem like the weird one when she just wants to know who he is. What kind of psychopath do you have to be to think that’s not a valid question?
Yeesh. Way to over-react there buckaroo.
As cringe-inducing as these are, reading this Snapchat conversation below hits me really, really hard in the gut.
How do their bitmojis know to make that awkward laughing face? That’s some complex machine learning right there. Wowsers.
And this isn’t really a text but a comment on someone’s Instagram account. I don’t know what level of inebriation you have to attain in order to write this on someone’s post, but, holy moly.
So many levels of wrong it’s disturbing. He’s either trying to be funny in an “edgy” way, which fails miserably. Or he really is that much of a scumbag, which is alarming. So it’s a lose-lose. I guess when you’re desperate for some romantic attention y0u’ll do some cringe-inducing things, but these dudes are on a whole other level.