It became apparent to me very early on in my school career that my family was unlike others. We didn’t have a set time for dinner every single day, and it seemed weird to me that some of my other friends would have supper at 6pm SHARP and be in bed by 8:30. And that they were allowed to wear shoes in the house.
But then again, we had some unspoken rules in our home that just weren’t broken. We couldn’t play pop music loudly, video games were strictly played on the weekends, and you could never, ever, watch anything on TV that could be remotely smutty — like even if people were kissing on screen. And musicals and sitcoms couldn’t be watched when my dad was in the room, this included Disney movies. He wasn’t about that (though he softened up with age, I still hate musicals by virtue of conditioning).
And while I feel like I’ve come across some weird rules whenever I visited a friend’s house (corn on the cob had to be shorn off onto a plate with a butter knife, not eaten directly), some of these crazy house rules that popped up in the comments section of this wonderful AskReddit post has got me thankful that I grew up around comparatively normal people.
The tough guy.
Use Grandma’s bathroom, get banned.
Guess mom didn’t want them messing up the house.
The psycho furniture preserver.
Smoothie cups are for smoothies only.
The door’s locked at night.
Babysitter made kids sit on the stairs.
You can’t have two doses of sugar.
Plugs are off-limits.
No drinking anything with dinner.
The family that locks babysitters in their home.
Grandparents who charge for water.
There’s a strict food order.
Guests do not pour their own drinks under any circumstances.
Would rather her husband die than make a mess.
One tub of water for the family.
Must puke outdoors.
Another no-drinking-during-meals family.
DON’T TOUCH THE DINING TABLE.
7pm bedtime…at 14 years old.
No meat poopers.
Music? With words? Are you mad?
Bedtimes and only one trash bin.
The single, communal towel.
The garage house party.