It seems like every time I log into Instagram I see a bunch of inspirational quotes from yoga people that promote healthy thinking and being in zen states of mind by not allowing anyone to get you angry.
Like, “don’t sweat the small stuff” or some other platitude that makes you think you can easily cut out the shallow things that really, really get to you.
Well I’m sorry but it’s not that easy. I can’t do a downward-facing crane spiral pose and just pretend like a guy blasting garbage music on his speakerphone while everyone’s minding their own business on the train, not to mention taking up two seats with his backpack, is not going to bother me. It is going to bother me and I’m happy that it bothers me because I don’t ever want to be as ill-mannered as that piece of human garbage who I hope misplaces his ticket when the conductor comes by and is forced to step off the train and get stranded for hours before he finally makes it back to whatever snakepit he calls home.
Sorry, I might have gone a bit overboard for a second there, but I know there are more than a few people out there who get bothered by everyday annoyances, like these peeps in this AskReddit thread.
I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
GREAT! Now I have to get out of my car…
Zig-zaggers are infuriating.
It’s called a passing lane for a reason. If you aren’t passing in it, then get the heck out.
Headphones popping out your ears outta nowhere is mad infuriating.
The worst is when they’re eating apples.
I can’t help but mock them with a humpty-dumpty walk.
I’m not angry now, but I’m gonna get angry real soon.
Seriously I want to know who leaves trash in their shopping carts.
So. Many. Triggers.
You shouldn’t be given a license unless you’ve mastered the art of the creep roll.
There’s a reason I’m not turning, you moron.
Have you taken two seconds to look at me and what I’m doing?
Drivers just need to do better in general.
You trying to kill me?
Sure, thanks for the tip. Now can you finish pouring my coffee?
Hey there, you garbage song…
We’re eating at PB&J’s next time. I’m making sandwiches and we’re sitting on the couch.
I’m aware of my deadlines, co-worker/housemate.
Dispose of that cancer stick properly, please.
The terrible things about container ownership that Tupperware doesn’t warn you about.
Great, now I have to run to catch it.
Almost as bad as wet socks.
Gee, thanks. No, it’s not like I value my time or anything.
Total disregard for printer protocol.
We know you have horrible taste in music, you don’t need to advertise it.
Keep your hands to yourself.