9 Ways To Support A Loved One With Chronic Pain

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5.

Ask open-ended questions.

Supporting a loved one often means becoming curious about their lives and their struggles. Rather than asking the go-to “how are you” question, Dr. Manly suggests asking open-ended questions to get a further understanding of how they are truly feeling. If you’re not sure what kind of questions you should ask, Dr. Manly provided a few below. 

• Would a little bit of exercise make you feel better or worse?

• Is your appetite strong today? Would you like a bowl of soup?

• When your pain is high, what could I do to support you?

• Do you prefer to be alone and quiet when you’re hurting so much, or do you prefer company?

It’s also important to keep in mind how they’re responding to some of these questions. If they’re changing the subject or keeping their answers short and sweet, it just might mean they’re not in the mood to discuss their pain right then and there — and that’s completely okay. Just respect their boundaries and talk about something else. 

“In truth, those who suffer from chronic pain often have limited emotional energy and may feel depleted when asked to talk and engage,” Dr. Manly says. “That said, on ‘up’ days, there may be a desire for more engagement than on days that are particularly difficult and draining.”

However, if you want to take things up a notch, you can also educate yourself about their chronic illness on your own time to help you further understand what they are going through. “Feel free to educate yourself on our chronic illness,” said a BuzzFeed reader who wished to remain anonymous. “The fact that you have an idea of the condition we are dealing with for the rest of our lives, shows us you care about us.”

Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ravenishak/living-with-chronic-pain-expert-advice

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