25 Bone Puns That Everyone Will Find Humerus

Bone puns always tickle my funny bone. These are the best bone puns from all around the internet. Add your favorite bone pun in the comments!

Where do you learn about bones?

Osteoclasst.

What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time?

An osteoblast.

Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?

He wants tibia honest.

Why did the skeleton start a fight?

He had a bone to pick.

What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?

The hip.

What do you call a funny bone?

A humerus.

Why was the skeleton stupid?

He was a numskull.

Why was the skeleton so lonely?

He had no body.

Why are bones so calm?

Nothing gets under their skin.

What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?

Spare ribs.

Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?

It goes right through them.

Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?

A rib cage.

Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?

It’s a skeleton crew.

Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?

He marrowly escaped.

What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?

Bone appetit!

How do you know if a spine finds you funny?

It starts cracking up.

Why didn’t one skeleton want to look at the other skeleton?

He didn’t have the stomach for it.

Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?

They don’t have a leg to stand on.

What did the doctor tell the skeleton who wanted to donate his body to science?

Spine on the dotted line.

Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?

He was bone tired.

What do you call a skeleton who lies?

A phoney-ba-boney.

How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?

By the bony express.

What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?

A bone-zai tree.

Why are skeletons such bad liars?

Everyone can see right through them.

How do two skeletons have sex?

They bone each other. TC mark

Source : https://thoughtcatalog.com/erin-cossetta/2018/06/bone-puns/

50 Water Puns That Will Have You Swimming In Happy Tears

Read these water puns. Water you waiting for!?

Wave goodbye to your bad mood. Here are the best water puns that will have you drowning in laughter:

1. H20 is water, but what is H204?

It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.

2. What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?

Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.

3. There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.

Number one. And number two.

4. What did one ocean say to another?

Nothing, it just waved.

5. Why does the river have problems remembering things?

Because she is becoming sea nile.

6. Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

She thought he was too shallow.

7. What did the bottled water tell the spy?

The names bond, Hydrogen bond.

8. Why does water never laugh at jokes?

It isn’t a fan of dry humor.

9. How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.

10. How do you make holy water?

Make sure to boil the hell out of it.

11. The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.

You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.

12. What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?

Fo’ Drizzle.

13. When does it start to rain money?

When there is change in the weather.

14. Why are oceans so meticulous?

They like to be pacific.

15. What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?

Hail, of course!

16. What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?

Reign!

17. My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.

I sent him a Get Well Soon card.

18. Why do sharks only swim in salt water?

Because pepper always makes them sneeze.

19. Why did the ocean leave the party early?

She was getting really tide.

20. Why is a river an amazing roommate?

He just likes to go with the flow.

21. What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?

Water you doing today?

22. Why do poets always write about the sea?

They just can’t fathom her depths.

23. Why did the lake date the river?

He heard that she had a bubbly personality.

24. Why don’t you see an ocean in school?

They just can’t wade through all that homework.

25. Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?

It was a buoy!

26. What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?

Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.

27. Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?

The Supreme Quart.

28. If Smart water were actually smart…

Then why did it get bottled?

29. Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?

The closest ISOBAR.

30. What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?

England.

31. Why is the ocean always on time?

She likes to stay current.

32. What can you do if you are the ocean?

Watever you want.

33. Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Well, well, well.

34. What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?

Dam it.

35. What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?

The weekend.

36. What do you call a wet teddy bear?

A drizzly bear.

37. What did the sink say to the water faucet?

You’re a real drip.

38. Why does the river never get lost?

She always finds the right pathwave.

39. How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?

He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”

40. What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?

A rain of terror.

41. Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?

Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.

42. What is worse than when it is raining buckets?

Hailing taxis.

43. What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?

A one molar solution.

44. What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?

Fowl weather.

45. What goes up when rain starts to come down?

Umbrellas.

46. What happens before it starts raining candy?

It sprinkles!

47. RIP to Boiled Water.

You will be sorely mist.

48. Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?

He couldn’t stream the video.

49. What do you call water that is good for you?

Well water.

50. What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

Dam. TC mark

Source : http://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/06/water-puns/

This Famous Designer Seems To Have Called Selena Gomez Ugly On Instagram

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but also I think we can objectively agree that most famous pop stars are gorgeous? That’s like, a prerequisite of the job. They’re also usually young, well-dressed, styled within an inch of their lives, and have a professional makeup artist touching up that perfect every time they leave the house.

Let’s look at Selena Gomez for example. Gorgeous!

There are many different ways to be beautiful, but I’d say Gomez is one absolutely iconic example. 

A few days ago, fashion Instagram account The Cat Walk Italia did a little tribute to Gomez’s style and loveliness, particularly when she does a daring red look. Lady in Red, all the way:

This is the kind of thing fashion Instagram’s do all the time and wouldn’t be particularly notable, except a famous fashion personality decided to jump on and voice his opinion in the comments.

Stefano Gabbana is one half of the founders of Dolce & Gabbana, and he kind of has a reputation for being a big jerk, especially to women.

Buzzfeed reports that he has a habit of commenting on women’s photos on Instagram with insulting remarks, like when he downvoted Victoria Beckham for some reason, after she appeared on Vogue Brasil’s IG:

He’s also commented on Cat Walk Italia before, like on this photo of Kate Moss:

He also posted this image that showed Lady Gaga’s stomach during her Superbowl performance, with what many took to be a sarcastic caption:

He wrote, “#real I know it’s strange, but finally something real not retouched! The truth, reality. Yesterday I critcized it too, but I though about it and I was wrong!!! #real

This was taken to be a “joke,” and Gabbana was accused of body-shaming. Given his reputation, that’s not a bad bet. 

But he may have overstepped by coming for Selena Gomez. On the photo of her in those beautiful reds, Gabbana commented that she was ugly, saying, “È proprio brutta!!!”

Which translates as, “She’s so ugly!!!”

According to Buzzfeed, the phrase could also mean, “It is really ugly,” if we want to split hairs about Gabbana’s meaning, but it doesn’t look great either way.

Fans have reacted with a lot of anger towards Gabbana, wondering where he gets off saying Gomez is ugly. 

What do you think?

Source : https://www.distractify.com/entertainment/2018/06/14/2keBqu/stefano-gabbana-selena-gomez-ugly-comment

50 Rock Puns That Will Have You Rolling With Laughter

If it’s too much pressure to think of your own jokes, then here are the funniest rock puns that you can throw at all your friends.

Are you ready to laugh until your bed rocks? Then enjoy these rock puns! Don’t take them for granite!

1. What do you call a rock that never goes to school?

A skipping stone!

2. Why did the tectonic plates break up?

It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.

3. What do you do with dead geologists?

You barium.

4. Where do rocks like to sleep?

In bedrocks!

5. Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?

Because it was on shale.

6. Who is a geologist’s favorite band?

The Rolling Stones.

7. Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?

He just couldn’t put it down.

8. What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?

This is too much pressure!

9. How did the geology student drown?

His grades were below C-level.

10. How do geologists like to relax?

In rocking chairs, of course!

11. What do rocks eat?

Pom-a-granites.

12. Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.

Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.

13. What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?

I really lava you!

14. When were rock puns the funniest?

During the stone age.

15. What did the motivational speaker say?

Don’t take life for granite.

16. What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?

A sham rock.

17. What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?

Rolling Stone.

18. Why can’t minerals ever lie?

They’re always in their pure form.

19. Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?

Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.

20. What did the rock say to the word processor?

Boulder.

21. Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

22. What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?

Coca-Cola Clastic.

23. You want to hear the best rock puns?

Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.

24. Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?

Because they get hammered and stoned.

25. Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?

They know really “dirty” jokes.

26. This rock was magma before it was cool.

Get it?

27. Why shouldn’t you lend a geologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

28. Why are geologists so good in school?

They take nothing for granite.

29. Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?

He was charged with basalt and battery.

30. What did the geologist say when his doctor said he needed a colon exam?

No fracking way!

31. Why did the fold get arrested?

Because it was caught rolling a joint.

32. What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?

You know that you have really hit rock bottom.

33. What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?

Au revoir.

34. What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test?

I don’t want to talc about it.

35. Why are geologists great dates?

They are very sedimental.

36. Why are geologists no fun at parties?

They like to be stone-cold sober.

37. Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?

He wanted to be a little boulder.

38. Why was the geologist always depressed?

He had a hard rock life.

39. Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?

It was always on shale.

40. What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?

May the quartz be with you!

41. Why are geologists never hungry?

They lost their apatite.

42. Why are geologists great dates?

They can make your bedrock.

43. Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?

He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.

44. Why is the world so diverse?

Because it contains alkynes of people.

45. I really hate rock puns.

My sediments exactly.

46. What did the gold say to the pyrite?

You’re a fool and a fake!

47. What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

48. Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?

Because they all have their faults.

49. What did the diamond say to its friend copper?

Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!

50. What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?

Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball. TC mark

Source : https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/06/rock-puns/

This Artist Has A Series Of Drawings Dedicated To Living Alone And They Are Beautiful

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I come from a big family. Not really by Eastern European standards, we were about normal-sized, especially considering that my grandma and grandpa from my dad’s side lived with us. I almost always had to wait to use a bathroom, there was almost always someone talking or some kind of activity going on in the house while I was attempting to do my homework or play video games or quickly take a shower to not “waste” the hot water for whoever came in after me.

Which means that when I finally lived on my own for a little bit, I almost lost my mind. Even now, being married with two kids, I find myself creeped out when I’m by myself in the apartment. Most people would like to be away from a crying baby or have some “alone” time. I personally can’t take more than few minutes of it.

Which is why I’m fascinated with the art of Yaoyao Ma Van As.

She has a series of drawings dedicated to living and working by your lonesome.

And her artwork is absolutely stunning.

From waking up when you want with only the sun and your pets to greet you.

To getting stuck on something when you’re working from home and no coworkers to vent to.

She captures a lot of amazing moments of what it’s like to be home alone.

In an interview with BuzzFeed, Yaoyao says that when she started putting her drawings up online, she wasn’t using “loneliness” as a guiding theme.

“The ‘solitude’ part wasn’t my goal. However, once in a while I would get some comments on my painting like, ‘Why is she always alone?'”

“And I started thinking, ‘Just because someone is alone doesn’t mean they’re lonely.'”

Yaoyao uses her drawings to tell stories, specifically ones that include her pupper.

“I started doing these because I wanted to tell stories with my drawings, especially stories about my dog Parker.”

She’s interested in capturing the “ups and downs” of life, and hopes that the vignettes she captures resonate with other people.

“Life has its ups and downs, and I hope people can see from the stories I tell in my illustrations that they’re not alone in going through certain experiences in life.”

A scroll through her Instagram account shows just how much she’s progressed as an artist over the years.

“I do go through different emotions, but I’m also not crying in the staircase every time I draw something sad or biking through nature when I’m happy. I mainly just want to improve my skills and become more well-rounded as an artist.”

Her “daily sketches” are filled with beautiful life moments, as only she sees them.

If Yaoyao’s work speaks to you, you can check out more of her artwork on her site, here.

Source : https://www.distractify.com/trending/2018/06/14/ZFRsa6/artist-series-living-alone

Read These 50 Star Wars Puns, You Must

There’s no chance you’ll turn to the dark side when you are busy laughing at these Star Wars puns.

You are obsessed with Star Wars. You have seen every film at least twice. You can recite every word of every scene. But have you ever heard these brilliantly silly Star Wars puns before?

1. Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi.

2. Which website did Chewbacca get arrested for creating?

Wookieleaks.

3. Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get to the Dark Side.

4. Is BB hungry?

No, BB8.

5. How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Xmas?

He felt his presents.

6. Why did Kylo Ren chase Rey through the forest?

He probably just wanted a girlfriend. After all, he’d Ben Solo for so long.

7. How does Wicket get around Endor?

Ewoks.

8. What do you call a pirate droid?

Arrgghh-2-D2.

9. What do Gungans put things in?

Jar Jars.

10. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

11. Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?

So it doesn’t Hang Solow.

12. How do you unlock doors on Kashyyyk?

With a woo-key.

13. Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?

Darth Waiter.

14. What’s a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie?

The Umpire Strikes Back.

15. Why did Anakin change his nickname to Skywalker?

He couldn’t stand the old one Ani longer.

16. What do you call an invisible droid?

C-through-PO.

17. Which Jedi became a rock star?

Bon Jovi-Wan Kenobi.

18. What did Obi Wan tell Luke when he had trouble eating Chinese food?

Use the forks, Luke.

19. Why is Yoda such a good gardener?

Because he has a green thumb.

20. What did Obi-Wan say at the rodeo?

Use the horse, Luke!

21. What’s the most popular Star Wars movie in Italy?

The Phantom Venice.

22. How do Ewoks communicate over long distances?

With Ewokie Talkies.

23. What do you call a bird of prey with a thousand lives?

A millennium falcon!

24. What do you get if you mix a bounty hunter with a tropical fruit?

Mango Fett!

25. Why was the droid angry?

People kept pushing its buttons.

26. What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name?

“The.”

27. What kind of car takes you to a jedi?

A toyoda. 

28. What do you call 5 Siths piled on top of a lightsaber?

A Sith-Kabob.

29. Why is Luke Skywalker always invited on picnics?

He always has the forks with him.

30. What do you call an evil procrastinator?

Darth Later.

31. Why is The Force like duct tape?

It has a light side, a dark side, and it binds the galaxy together.

32. What do you call a Jedi who’s in denial?

Obi-Wan Cannot Be.

33. Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?

Because he’s always making new friends.

34. What would you call Padme if she was a dog?

Petme Imadoggie.

35. Why do doctors make the best Jedi?

Because a Jedi must have patience.

36. Why can’t you count on Yoda to pick up the tab?

Because he’s always a little short.

37. Which Star Wars character travels around the world?

Globi-wan Kenobi.

38. What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

Han So-high.

39. What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark side?

Darth Tater.

40. Where does Jabba the Hutt eat?

Pizza Hutt.

41. Where did Luke get his bionic hand?

The second hand store.

42. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?

In the Sith Grade.

43. What is a Jedi’s favorite toy?

A yo-yoda.

44. Where do Sith shop?

The Maul. Everything is half off.

45. What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?

Lukewarm.

46. What do you call a Sith who won’t fight?

A Sithy.

47. How do Tusken’s cheat on their taxes?

They always single file, to hide their numbers.

48. What do storm troopers eat?

Wookie steak, but it’s a little Chewy.

49. Why did movies 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3?

Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

50. If you date someone who doesn’t like Star Wars puns…

Then you’re looking for love in Alderaan places. TC mark

Source : https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/06/star-wars-puns/

26 People Who Had One Job and Failed Miserably

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Like most people, you’ve probably struggled with feeling like an occasional failure at work. Everyone makes mistakes and setbacks are inevitable, but still, it can be hard not to dwell on our own blunders. (S/O to everyone who’s woken up in a cold sweat at 3 A.M. thinking of the time you accidentally replied all.)

The next time you find yourself feeling this way, just think of these folks who failed at their jobs so hard you’ll wonder how they got that far in the first place:

1

This maze designer.

2

Whoever frankensteined this supposed map of the Americas.

3

The owner of this novelty twitter account.

4

The writer of this candy menu.

5

Whoever who set up this window display.

6

The person in charge of updating this breaking news banner.

7

The maker of this trophy, who thought they were just following instructions.

8

The person who decided to use a color-coded map for this greyscale publication.

9

The person who designed this yearbook.

10

Whoever stocked these shelves.

11

This designer, who decided to add braille to a flat sign.

12

The person who painted this road sign.

13

Whoever was in charge of translating this label.

14

The person who installed this shower shelf.

15

The designer of this instruction card.

16

Whoever was in charge of this o.j. carton’s assembly line.

17

This calendar designer, who decided to make February even shorter by skipping the 22nd.

18

The brilliant person who installed this lock.

19

The person who mistakenly printed this sudoku solution instead of the puzzle.

20

The McDonald’s employee who assembled this sandwich.

21

The cake decorator who glossed over this form.

22

This mail person, who paid no heed to instructions.

23

Whoever was tasked with placing this sign.

24

The person who took this “before” photo.

25

Whoever was responsible for printing these tags.

26

Last but not least, the person who installed this bewildering trash/recycling bin.

Source : https://www.distractify.com/humor/2018/06/14/mMqD3/26-people-who-had-one-job-and-failed-miserably

50+ Halloween Puns That Will Make You Laugh Until You’re Coffin

Halloween puns are the best kind of scary puns. They will boo-st your enjoyment of the spookiest time of year. Add your own Halloween puns in the comments!

What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?

The trom-bone.

Why was the vampire interested in the New York Times?

He heard it had great circulation.

Why wouldn’t the skeleton go in the haunted house?

He had no guts.

Why did the ghost go to the bar?

To get some boos.

Why did the horseman from Sleepy Hollow go to business school?

He wanted to get a head in life.

Why are all mummies workaholics?

They’re afraid to unwind.

What do you say when you’re having dinner with a skeleton?

Bone appetit!

What happens when a ghost blows its nose?

He looks at the boo-gers.

Why won’t vampires prey on snowmen?

They’ll get frostbite.

Why don’t ghouls like lentils?

They prefer human beans.

Why was the skeleton lonely?

He had no body.

Why do vampires use mouthwash?

They have bat breath.

How do vampires sail?

On blood vessels.

Did you hear about the vampire who lost his home?

It was a grave problem.

How do skeleton’s travel in an emergency?

In a skele-copter.

Why do ghouls love to hang out with demons?

Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.

Did you hear about the guy who was bitten by a vampire?

It was a pain in the neck.

Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?

They don’t want to fly off the handle.

What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help you clean?

Lazy bones.

Who did Dracula take to the school dance?

His ghoul friend.

What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?

Boo boos.

Why are skeletons always so calm?

Nothing gets under their skin.

Why should you always trust a mummy with your secrets?

They can keep anything under wraps.

How did the great pumpkin fix his jeans?

With a pumpkin patch.

Why are skeleton’s so bad at church music?

They can’t play the organ.

Did you hear about the vampire who had to go to the doctor?

He was coffin.

What do you call a stupid skeleton?

A bonehead.

Why does every cemetery have a fence?

People are dying to get in.

What do skeleton’s drink their tea in?

Bone china.

Where do Russians send bad ghosts?

Do the ghoulag.

Why was the skeleton so into ceramics class?

He loved making skullptures.

Why are ghosts so happy when they’re in an elevator?

It lifts their spirits.

What do skeleton’s use to text?

A Cell-bone.

Where do ghosts go on vacation?

Mali-boo.

What did the ghost bring his ghost girlfriend?

A booquet.

Why couldn’t the skeleton watch horror movies?

He didn’t have the stomach.

Where did the mommy ghost take the baby ghost?

To the dayscare center.

What is zombie Shakespeare’s favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet.

What do you call a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist.

Why do skeleton’s make such good comedians?

They have so many funny bones.

Why wasn’t there any food left at the Halloween party?

Everyone was goblin.

Did you hear about the skeleton who could always tell when it was going to rain?

He could feel it in his bones.

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash.

What kind of wine do skeletons like?

Anything with a full body.

What should you eat at a baseball game on Halloween?

A frankenfurter.

What do little ghouls and boys study in algegra?

Pumpkin-pi.

How does a member of a coven know what time it is?

They look at their witch-watch.

Who do skeleton’s learn about in history class?

Napoleon Bone-a-part.

What do vegan zombies eat?

GRAAAAAAAAAINS.

What is the skeleton’s funniest bone?

Its humerus.

What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?

Spare ribs. TC mark

Source : https://thoughtcatalog.com/erin-cossetta/2018/06/halloween-puns/

50 Hilarious Bird Puns That Will Have You Quacking Up

These bird puns are a real hoot!

You see them every time you glance at the afternoon sky. You hear them every morning when they chirp from their branches. But have you ever really thought about how beautiful birds are and how lucky we are to witness their magic every single day?

They are graceful, they are colorful, and they are melodic. Not to mention, they have inspired some hilarious jokes. Here are some bird puns that are going to ruffle your feathers.

1.  When should you buy a bird?

When it’s going cheep!

2. Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?

He wanted to make a long distance caw.

3. How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

4. Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

5. How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.

6. What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon.

7. What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!

8. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra.

9. What do you call a very rude bird?

A mockingbird!

10. Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?

Because it was in da skies!

11. What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

Jail-birds!

12. How did the bird break into the house?

With a crow bar.

13. What language do geese speak?

Porchageese.

14. What kind of bird runs the church?

A cardinal!

15. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?

Because he had a very big bill.

16. What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?

Cherpies.

17. What does a bird like in his soup?

Crowtons.

18. What bird movie won an Oscar?

Lord of the Wings.

19. What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?

A firequaker!

20. What is a parrot’s favorite game?

Hide and Speak!

21. What do you call a bird that kicks your butt?

Steven Seagull.

22. Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying “bach bach”!

23. What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb?

A bald eagle.

24. Where does bird royalty live?

Duckingham Palace.

25. What kind of bird can carry the most weight?

The crane.

26. What books did the owl like?

Hoot-dunits!

27. What robs you while you’re in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.

28. What bird can you buy at the grocery store?

A kiwi.

29. What bird is helpful at dinner?

A swallow!

30. What’s another name for a clever duck?

A wise quacker!

31. Which bird is always out of breath?

A puffin!

32. What soap do birds use?

Dove.

33. Where do birds invest their money?

In the stork market!

34. What did the Eagle say when he was cold?

Birrrrrd.

35. What do you call a duck on drugs?

A quackhead.

36. Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks!

37. How many cans does it take to make a bird?

Two cans.

38. What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?

Fowl play!

39. What do you call a sick eagle?

Illegal

40. What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?

Tweetie Pie!

41. What birds spend all their time on their knees?

Birds of prey!

42. What does duck eat with his soup?

Quackers.

43. What do you get when you cross a bird with a comedian?

Jay Leno.

44. What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

45. How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

46. Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don’t know the words.

47. What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

48. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!

49. What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s?

A funky chicken.

50. What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle. TC mark

Source : https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/06/bird-puns/

50 Pokemon Puns That Will Make You Laugh Your Ash Off

These are some of the best Pokemon puns out there. You got to hear ’em all!

Don’t you miss watching Ash, Misty, and Brock every morning with your milk and cereal? That’s okay, because the adventures never have to end. Even though it’s going to be a while until the next game is released, you can still enjoy the world of Pokemon by reciting hilarious jokes.

Lucky for you, you don’t have to search far and wide to find the funniest Pokemon puns in existence. They are right here!

1. What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?

Let’s rock!

2. What is a Pokémon fan’s favorite place to go in France?

Paras!

3. Why was Hypno so energetic?

He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.

4. Which Pokémon could also be a pirate?

Arrrrrr-bok.

5. Which Pokemon does Dracula like most?

Koffin’.

6. What do you call a Pokemon who can’t move very fast?

A Slow-poke.

7. What do you call a Pokemon that wants to be a police officer?

Magic-cop!

8. Which Pokemon do soccer players like the most?

GOALduck.

9. Which college do Pokemon go to?

StarU.

10. What type of Pokemon are Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Elvis be?

Legendary Pokemon.

11. Are you a Hitmonlee?

Because your body is kickin’.

12. You must be a Charmander.

Because you’re making me hot.

13. Baby, I’m A Mismagius.

I’ll make all of your wildest dreams come true.

14. You remind me of Deoxys.

You’re out of this world. 

15. What’s Pikachu’s favorite song?

The Hokey Pokemon.

16. Why can’t you blindfold a Pokemon?

Because it’s going to Pikachu!

17. What do you call a low fat Pokemon?

Butterfree.

18. I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokemon Go?

He said “Wynaut.”

19. Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might Pikachu.

So it’s not my fault if I see any Jigglypuffs.

20. Why shouldn’t you do drugs?

Weedle make you high.

21. What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?

I’m Zaptos intolerant!

22. What Pokemon do people see in auctions?

Bidoof.

23. Whats the name of the Pokemon that traveled with Dorthy to Oz?

Totodile.

24. What do you call Meowth’s reflection?

A copycat.

25. How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

Poke him on.

26. What is the difference between Snorlax and a pillow?

One sleeps a lot and the other gets slept on a lot!

27. What do you call a scout that likes to chew gum while climbing Pikes Peak?

A Peak-A-Chewer!

28. What does a yellow Pokemon say before teleporting?

Abra-cadabra.

29. What do you get when you cross Pikachu with porn?

Pikascrew.

30. Are you a Flareon?

Because you’re a sexy fox.

31. I wish you were the ground and I was a Diglett.

Then I could be inside of you.

32. Are you a Pikachu?

Because you are shockingly beautiful.

33. What does Ash say when he wants to date someone?

I choose you.

34. How can you tell a Pokemon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a gol-bat.

35. How do you hit on a cute girl playing Pokemon Go?

Tell her “I’d like to Pikachu when you’re naked!”

36. Why did the Miltank cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

37. What TV show about dancing do pokemon love?

Dancing with the Staryus.

38. What do you call a Pikachu that can fix computers?

Geek-achu.

39. Which sci-fi movie do Pokemon like the most?

Staryu Wars.

40. What’s Wailmer’s favorite TV show?

Whale of Fortune.

41. Why did the Squirtle cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide!

42. Where do Haunter’s like to water ski?

Lake Erie.

43. What do you call a storm of Pokemon?

A Pokemonsoon!

44. What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea?

A LightBulbasaur.

45. Where did Brock take Nurse Joy for a date?

The PokeBall.

46. What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?

Weedle Knievell.

47. How can pikachu make a baby laugh?

By playing pika-boo!

48. What do you do when your Loudred evolves?

Buy more earplugs!

49. What did the judge say when a Skuntank came into the court?

Odor  in the court!

50. I’m sorry about these bad puns.

I should’ve kept my big meowth shut. TC mark

Source : https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2018/06/pokemon-puns/