53 Autumn Instagram Captions That'll Make Your Followers FALL for You

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Fall is upon us and you’ve probably begun to embrace the changing colors of the leaves, daylight saving time, and, of course, Pumpkin Spice Lattes. 

If the month has you ready to cozy up in front of a fireplace, go pumpkin picking, or start planning out your Thanksgiving weekend adventures, we hope you’re Instagram-prepared. Your followers are going to want to see your outdoor adventures and how well you’re rocking out this sweater weather.

And if you have an abundance of images ready to post, but no fall captions for your Instagram, we’ve got you covered. 

From movie quotes to song lyrics, with some PSL jokes in between, read on for 53 fall captions that’ll go great on your ‘gram.

Funny Captions

“Creeping it real”

“Fall so hard mother pumpkins wanna spice me.”

“Halloween is not a day. It’s a lifestyle.”

“The only thing getting ‘lit’ this weekend are my fall scented candles.”

“Trick or … treat yourself”

“#RestingWitchFace”

“If you fall, I’ll be there.” — The Floor

“Sorry for what I said when I didn’t have my Pumpkin Spice Latte.”

“It’s fall, y’all.”

“At this point, my blood type is pumpkin spice.”

Cute Captions

“Sweater weather is better together”

“Falling for you”

“Autumn skies and pumpkin pies”

“Hello, pumpkin”

“#UnbeLEAFable”

“At this point, my blood type is pumpkin spice.”

“Stay BOOtiful.”

“FALLelujah!”

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“FALLing in love with this brand new season.”

“Stay cozy.”

“My favorite color is autumn.”

“The trees show us how beautiful it is to let things go.”

“There are two seasons in the year: fall, and waiting for fall.”

“I’d like to see you s’more.”

“Oh fall, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Let there be pumpkin spice.” 

“Psithurism: The sound of the leaves rustling as the wind blows through the trees.”

Quote Captions

“My favorite color is October.” — Unknown

“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.” — Lauren DeStefano

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” — Albert Camus

“And the sun took a step back, the leaves lulled themselves to sleep, and Autumn was awakened.” — Raquel Franco

“Delicious Autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.” — George Eliot

“And all at once, summer collapsed into fall.” — Oscar Wilde

“Autumn… the year’s last, loveliest smile.” — William Cullen Bryant

I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” — L.M. Montgomery

There is a harmony in autumn and a luster in its sky…” — Percy Bysshe Shelley

“Every leaf speaks bliss to me, falling from the autumn tree.” — Emily Bronte

“Be like a tree, and let the dead leaves drop.” — Rumi

“Designers want me to dress like Spring, in billowing things. I don’t feel like Spring. I feel like a warm red Autumn.” — Marilyn Monroe

“Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence.” — Yoko Ono

“Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first September was crisp and golden as an apple.” — J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

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Movie/TV Captions

“Ahh, I’m just a big, toasty cinnamon bun.” — The Simpsons

“How do you like them apples?” — Good Will Hunting

“Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” — You’ve Got Mail

“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” — The Great Gatsby

“Aprils have never meant much to me, autumns seem that season of beginning, spring.” – Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Song Lyrics

“Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last. Wake me up when September ends.” — Green Day

“In the quivering forest, where the shivering dog rests, our good grandfather built a wooden nest. And the river got frozen, and the hole got snowed in, and the yellow moon glowed bright till the morning light.” — Fleet Foxes

“And if you took to me like a gull takes to the wind, I’d have jumped from my tree and I’d have danced like the king of the eyesores, and the rest of our lives would’ve fared well.” — The Shins

“Autumn in New York, why does it seem so inviting? Autumn in New York, it spells the thrill of first-nighting.” — Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

“Tell her to weave it in a sycamore wood lane, parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. And gather it all with a basket of flowers, and then she’ll be a true love of mine.” — Simon and Garfunkel

“The autumn days swung soft around me/ Like cotton on my skin/ But as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared/ My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within.” — Fiona Apple

“I’m still in love with you, I want to see you dance again. Because I’m still in love with you on this harvest moon.” — Neil Young

Source : https://www.distractify.com/fyi/2018/11/08/1om5yK/fall-captions-for-instagram

12 Weird Facts About 'The Powerpuff Girls' That'll Make You Want to Rewatch it All

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Ready to feel old? The Powerpuff Girls celebrates its 20th anniversary this month. When series creator Craig McCracken first created the show, he had no idea it would be a hit and assumed only “hipster college kids” would watch it. Instead, the show went on to be one of the biggest cartoons of the ’90s, spurring a movie and numerous spin-offs, including a 2016 reboot (that I like to pretend doesn’t exist). 

Although the cartoon’s a classic, and you probably still have a Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup T-shirt in your closet, there’s still a lot about the show you don’t know. From weird facts to storylines that were way creepier than you remember, here are all the reasons you should skip the crappy reboot and watch the original all over again.

1

They were originally called “Whoopass Stew.”

2

The show was never meant to be a kids’ show.

3

Everything about Ms. Bellum was inappropriate.

4

There were plenty of dirty easter eggs lurking in the background, like this one.

5

And this one.

6

The Rowdyruff boys were technically the Powerpuff girls’ brothers.

7

There was an episode that was banned from TV.

8

There was intentional innuendo.

9

Mojo Jojo was voiced by the same guy who did Ghostface in “Scream.”

10

Buttercup’s original name was….really?

11

For a kids’ show, there was a whole lot of death.

12

Him really was supposed to be Satan.

Source : https://www.distractify.com/entertainment/2018/11/08/ZD35pp/powerpuff-girls-dark-facts

31 Office Jokes That'll Make Your Workday Fly By

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Instead of letting the 40-hour workweek bring you down, we thought you might enjoy some jokes about work to lighten your mid-week mood. Whether you’re dragging your feet on a Monday or woke up convinced it was Friday but quickly learned it was only Wednesday, you’ve come to the right place.

These office jokes are so funny, they’ll make your day better — or at least they’ll take you away from what you’re working on for a few minutes. Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. 

If any of these make you laugh out loud, share them with a coworker who could use a pick-me-up too — or even @ your boss, if you dare.

And before we begin, just remember: the reward for a job well done is always more work.

1.  A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”
The man says, “I’m probably too honest.”
The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”
The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”

2. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?
He took a day off.

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3. My annual performance review says I lack “passion and intensity.” I guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a Big Mac.

4.  An employee is getting to know her new co-workers when the topic of her last job comes up. One co-worker asks why she left that job.
“It was something my boss said,” the woman replied.
“Why? What did he say?” the co-worker asked.
“You’re fired.”

5. Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless you’re applying to be a statistician.

6. While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, “Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?”

7. When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

8. I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday. My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”

9. When my coworker answered his phone, the confused woman on the other end asked, “Who is this?”
“This is Steve. With whom did you wish to speak?”
After a pause: “Did you just say whom?”
“Yes, I did.”
The woman replied, “I have the wrong number,” and hung up.

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10. Someone has stolen my Microsoft Office and they are going to pay for it… You have my Word.

11. Yesterday at work, I saw someone being horrifically inefficient and told him, “Dude that is definitely slowing you down.” He replied, “Well yea it is, but I’m in the kitchen remodeling business so I’m supposed to be counter productive.”

12. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

13. I went for an interview for an office job today. The interviewer told me I’d start on $2,000 a month and then after 6 months I’d be on $2,500 a month.
I told them I’d start in 6 months.

14. What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market? Start off with a big fortune.

15.  A new small business was opening and one of the owner’s friends arranged for flowers to be sent to mark the occasion and wish the owner luck.

The flowers duly arrived at the new business site and the business owner read the accompanying card to find it said, “Rest in Peace.” The business owner rang his friend and told him what the card read. The friend was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should consider this: Somewhere there’s a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location.”http://www.distractify.com/”

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16. Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.

17. An employee goes to see his supervisor. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”http://www.distractify.com/”Sorry, but we’re short-handed,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”http://www.distractify.com/”Thanks, boss,” says the employee. “I knew I could count on you!”

18. I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the eight-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.

19. I love my job. Lately, colleagues have been writing names on the food in the office fridge. I’m currently eating a yoghurt called Susan. How cute!

20. Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.

21. I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refused to be talked to in that tone of voice!

22. My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don’t think she’d be a good secret agent.

23. Employer: We need someone responsible for the job.
Job Applicant: Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.

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24. All I ask is for a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

25. Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.” The man replies, “And how would you do that?” The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?” The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.” The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?” The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

26. Some people say the glass is half full. Some people say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.

27. Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now! After you left yesterday saying that you had to go to your grandma’s funeral, she called the office looking for you.

28.  My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities. I said, “That’s great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity.”

29. When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?” I said, “No, not particularly.”

30. I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.

31. Bill walks into his boss’s office one day and says, “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I’ve got three companies after me, and I’d like to respectfully ask for a raise.”
After a few minutes of haggling. the boss finally agrees to give him a 5 percent raise, and Bill happily gets up to leave.
“By the way,” asks the boss as Bill is leaving his office, “which three companies are after you?”
Bill replies, “The electric company, water company, and phone company.”

Source : https://www.distractify.com/humor/2018/11/06/2usLnK/jokes-about-work

25 Fornite Memes That'll Have You Doing Orange Justice

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It’s tough for me, an old fogey, to understand a lot of hype around Fortnite. I get the basics: it’s a popular Battle Royale game that tons of people play. But that’s about it. I don’t understand it when people are talking about Heavy AR strategies in the game, or what the newest Lil Kev challenge is.

Then there are the “skins,” which are easy enough to understand but I can’t for the life of me get the uber-excitement that’s generated behind the newest crop of NFL Skins, or what a “Hunting Party” skin is either. I’m totally lost.

What I’m not lost on, however, are the Fortnite memes that are coming out of this game. Sure, they’re filled with tons of inside jokes, but I’ve got to admit that I find these hilarious, even with my limited knowledge of the game.

1

Spongebob can be related to anything.

2

Overly confident.

3

OG

4

I don’t remember this episode of “Magic School Bus…”

5

Speaking of para-gliding.

6

A beautiful accident.

7

The controls struggle…

8

How they come up with costumes.

9

You know the addiction is real…

10

The game will help you flex for the gram.

11

Beginners know.

12

Spongebob+politics+Fortnite

13

Karma’s a you-know-what

14

Every man for himself.

15

16

To be fair…

17

Hey wait a minute…

18

Anyone obsessed with a game, really…

19

20

It’s hard to enjoy.

21

Decisions, decisions.

22

A sight for sore eyes….

23

Building like a boss…

24

Some locations are more strategic than others.

25

Whack.

Source : https://www.distractify.com/humor/2018/11/06/q3RBX/fortnite-memes

28 Social Studies Memes That'll Make History Nerds Laugh like Caligula

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History always seemed like a boring subject when I was a kid because who the heck wants to learn about a bunch of people who died a long time ago? What does that have to do with my current problems, like how am I going to get my Dad to buy me a Dreamcast?

A brilliant friend of mind once said that history should serve one purpose: to scare you. Because anyone in history who attained truly great things and was happy had to go out of their minds to do it. And I completely agree with that. But let’s be honest, most people won’t do that.

So the next best thing I guess is to use history to make some pretty dope memes, like these people did.

1

Don’t do it Romulus!

2

Why Carthage, of all places?

3

Mummies need to get over themselves.

4

Geography is weird.

5

It’s all about salting those fields.

6

That giant horse story always seemed kinda dumb to me.

7

So true.

8

The nerd in class who did this…

9

The Greek and Roman gods loved puns.

10

Memes have always been around.

11

The problem with this…

12

Puns on puns on puns.

13

Hate when that happens.

14

Bubonic Plague.

15

Anubis is the G

16

Nero

17

We don’t do geography in the US

18

Robert E. Lee

19

Oh Henry…

20

Shout out to the feudal system.

21

Kids these days.

22

Famine’s never funny.

23

Henry VIII

24

Julius Caesar

25

Franklin Delano COOLsevelt

26

No kings here.

27

Puns + History

28

Foreclosures suck…

Source : https://www.distractify.com/humor/2018/10/25/Z189qHU/social-studies-memes

19 Terrifying Stories That'll Make You Want to Never Stay Home Alone Again

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There are so many reasons living alone is amazing, they would be hard to detail in just one article. My personal favorite part is that all of the messes in the house are mine, and that as much as I love having guests over, I have full control over when they come and when they leave. It’s truly empowering.

But one downside to living alone (or just staying home alone, for that matter) is that when scary noises spook you, there’s no one else around who will have your back. As a self-proclaimed scaredy cat, this is the reason I’ve only ever lived alone in apartment buildings and would never dream of moving into a standalone house by myself.

I have no idea what I would do if I heard footsteps approaching, or saw a creepy shadow in my bedroom. With my current building setup, I’d probably just scream until a friendly neighbor came to my rescue.

But people who don’t live in big urban areas aren’t so lucky. We scoured a few different reddit threads for the absolute scariest home-alone stories from people who lived to share their tales. I literally have goosebumps just from having read these (and it’s daytime), so if you’re home alone right now, maybe save these 19 scary stories for later.

1

Home alone, or are you?

2

Fame has its downsides.

3

Happy birthday…?

4

Dad’s sick.

5

Do you know who your neighbors are?

6

Hide-and-seek when parents are away is not for the faint of heart.

7

On the bright side, at least it was a friendly ghost.

8

Hello??

9

Don’t answer the phone.

10

Oh, the good old AIM days…

11

Yeah…. Nope.

12

I’m not saying that living alone in a remote cabin is just BEGGING for scary stuff to happen to you, but…

13

“Let me in, love.”

14

This person added in the comments that human bones were found in that apartment. So there’s that.

15

That was close.

16

“I was going to leave you a note but I see that you are here.”

17

Keep your cellphones charged, guys.

18

Great, now I’ll never babysit ever again.

19

This one’s even got bloody evidence.

Source : https://undefined/trending/2018/10/22/ZXByau/scary-home-alone-stories

26 Clever Jokes That'll Make You Look Like the Wittiest Person in the Room

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If you’re looking for a clever joke that’ll get a laugh every time, you came to the right place. We’ve scoured the internet for witty jokes that might take a second to land, but will definitely make you look like the sharpest, most amusing person in the room. 

Read on for some funny quips that will definitely have you cracking up, and bookmark this page so you can cheer yourself and the people around you up whenever you’re in a pinch.

1. Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors?

A: Because if they had four they’d be chicken sedans.

2. A woman walks into a bar and orders a double entendre. So the bartender gives it to her.

3. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.

4. Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

A: About halfway.

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5. A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

“Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“I don’t speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,” said the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“Well, these shirts are on sale this week,” declared the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines,” repeated the man.

“I still don’t know what you’re trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack,” offered the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,” insisted the man.

“These sweaters are top quality,” the salesgirl probed.

“No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“Our undershirts are over here,” fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

“No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines,” the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, “Eso sí que es!”

“Why didn’t you just spell it in the first place?!” yelled the salesgirl.

6. Did you know Iceland is just one sea away from Ireland?

7. A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia.

Librarian: “They’re right behind you!!”

8. A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips.

The librarian says, “this is a library.”

The man, says, “oh. Sorry.” (Then in a whisper) “I’d like some fish and chips.”

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9. How does a rabbi make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

10. Dr Frankenstein entered a body building contest. Upon arrival, he realized he misunderstood the objective.

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11. Why do blind people hate skydiving?

It scares the hell out of their dogs.

12. Why don’t ants get sick?

Because they have little antybodies.

13. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

14. Q: What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

A: One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

15. This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.

16. Q: What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A: A labracadabrador.

17. Q: What do you get when you mix a tortoise and a porcupine?

A: A slow poke.

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18. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It’s shift work.

19. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says “Five beers please.”

20. I love to tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids.

I guess that just makes me a faux pa.

21. Knock knock

Who’s there?

To

To who?

To whom

22. 6:30 is hands down the best time of day.

23. “Well I’m sure everybody here already knows about Murphy’s law, but you guys probably don’t know about Cole’s law, am I right?”

“Whats Cole’s Law?”

“Well, it’s thinly sliced cabbage. Sometimes it has vinaigrette or mayonnaise”

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24. A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch.
He picks it up and throws it across the street.
A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch.
The snail looks up and says, “What was *that* all about?”

25. What do you call two crows?

Attempted murder.

26. The Secret Service just had to change protocol for when the president is in danger. Instead of yelling “get down!” they have to yell “Donald, duck!”

Source : https://undefined/humor/2018/10/19/Z1vqQe8/clever-jokes

15 Real-Life Paranormal Stories That'll Scare the $@*# Out of You

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If you’re counting down the days to Halloween, we’ve got you covered. We’ve written about controversial kids’ outfits, costumes that should have never been made, debunked superstitions and even terrifying text messages from the dead, so we can assure you it’s one of our favorite holidays too.

Today, we bring you some real-life scary stories. These redditors shared the creepiest, most inexplicable paranormal things that happened to them, and honestly, we might never sleep again. Or at least we’ll leave the lights on.

Scaredy-cats, beware.

1

What… were they drinking?

2

You know, just a casual day after class.

3

“What friend?”

4

Officially never sleeping in a house alone again.

5

Classic Grandmother House Smell

6

Simultaneous dreams are nice, simultaneous nightmares… Not so much.

7

“Help Me!”

8

Date with a ghost?

9

Grandpa never said you could sit in his chair.

10

We always knew hotels were creepy, but this…

11

“My cello’s D string was plucked 3 times”

12

*I* was the ghost

13

Low-key never going to Disney again.

14

Dad says it’s time for bed.

15

Reading about this haunted apartment makes me want to live in my house forever.

Source : https://undefined/trending/2018/09/27/2h1VyQ/askreddit-paranormal

Texts From the Dead That'll Make Your Skin Crawl

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With Halloween quickly approaching, we’ve been trying to keep you up to date on everything you need to know about the spooky holiday. We’ve shared controversial kid’s costumes, questionable adult choices, and even debunked some of the most common superstitions (black cats, anyone?).

Today, we bring you an article that’s not for the faint of heart, or for anyone not looking to get goosebumps.

See, grief is a powerful thing, and we’re often longing to communicate with our deceased loved ones — until, that is — they send us an answer from beyond the grave.

Read on for people who got messages from the dead. This story is guaranteed to make your skin crawl.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal…”

Reddit user hollywoodpizzapirate periodically texts his dad when he’s thinking of him. He’ll send him a message on holidays, like this one he sent him on Father’s Day. 

The crazy thing is, he actually received a response.

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“YOU LET THEM RUIN MY FUNERAL”

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Taufeus shared his terrifying text message conversation with the reddit community, r/nosleep.

Taufeus worked at one of the most popular funeral homes in his city while putting himself through college. His job wasn’t preparing the corpses for the funeral, but rather “working with the families of the deceased on planning the appropriate services for their loved ones,” in his words.

One day, he welcomed a grieving mother and father in their mid-40s, who were inquiring about a service for their late son. According to Taufeus, “he had been in a nasty car accident on the highway. His name was Bobby and he was 19 at the time of his passing.”

Taufeus took Bobby’s parents on a tour of the funeral home while they talked about the kind of service they’d hold, and what kinds of objects the parents wanted buried with their son. “This isn’t an unusual thing, many people do this with deceased loved ones. When everything arrived it included a baseball cap, a sports team hoodie and his cell phone (turned off),” he wrote.

After his trying day at work, Taufeus went home, took a shower, and sat in front of the TV. At this point, his phone buzzed. 

I’ll let him take it from there: 

My iPhone beeps a text notification… I was somewhat surprised this text came from a number not saved in my contacts list.

“HELLO.” It read.

A little weirded out I responded. “Hey there, who is this?”

I began heading to my bedroom and shut the door. Turned the TV on and got into bed. I usually would watch a bit of TV before falling asleep. My phone beeps again.

“BOBBY…” It said.

“Bobby who?” I asked, I hadn’t ever known anyone by the name.

“YOU KNOW WHO I AM, YOU MET MY PARENTS TODAY.”

I got a bit dizzy as I read it. Along with a rock settling in my stomach. “There’s no way this is that kid.” I thought to myself.

I responded, ‘This isn’t funny, what happened to him was horrible and no one should be joking around like this.’

The number responded ‘SHUT YOUR ROTTEN MOUTH YOU LET THEM RUIN MY FUNERAL RUIN IT!!!!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU IN THE CAR ACCIDENT NOT ME. YOU’LL HAVE AN EARLY GRAVE TOO IF IT GOES MY WAY!’

Absolutely unsurprisingly, Taufeus quit his job at the funeral home shortly after this event. But not before some other crazy antics went down with Bobby. Read the whole story here.

“I’m watching over you, you’ll get through this, you’ll be alright”

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A family who buried their elderly grandmother with her phone (I guess this is more common of a practice than I would have expected) got a message from their beloved, seemingly from beyond the grave.

According to The Independent, Lesley Emerson was a ‘prolific texter’ up until she lost her battle with cancer at age 59, which prompted the family to bury their beloved with her favorite device.

Her granddaughter, Sherri, had been texting her deceased grandmother intermittently since her passing as a way to cope. “Obviously we know that Nan wasn’t going to ever reply, it was just something we did as a comfort for ourselves because she loved to text,” she explained.

One day, after Sherri sent her grandmother her usual greeting, she got a message back. It read,”I’m watching over you, you’ll get through this, you’ll be alright.”

The terrified granddaughter doubled down, this time asking who she was texting. Then she received another reply: “I’m watching over you and it’s all going to get better. Just push through.”

To make matters scarier, the family had already been in touch with their service provider, O2, who assured them that their grandmother’s phone number would be promptly disconnected after her passing and would never be used again.

AHHH!!

“I’mmm soo coldd”

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In one of the most chilling text conversations of all time, CR_Jones hit up his best friend Mario to make plans about seeing the IT movie that was going to be released in September.

Mid-conversation, things start to devolve:

Me: (Talking about plans to go see IT) Yeah I guess we’ll just see who can drive that Friday whenever we meet up. We’ll just play it by ear.

Mario: Stopp touchhingg the therrmostat its soooo coold in here

Me: What?

Mario: I’mmm soo coldd

Me: What is this? What are you talking about?

Mario: Theee thermmostat stooopp touccching itt

Me: How could I possibly be touching your thermostat right now?

Me: Are you drunk or something? Why do you keep texting like that?

There was about a twenty minute pause here before he texted me back.

Mario: SOoo CoLDdd

Me: You’re starting to freak me out Mar. What is this about?

I try calling him but he doesn’t answer.

Me: Mar can you answer your phone please

Mario: Whehere arre the ligghhhts

Me: Dude, seriously what the f–k are you talking about?

Mario: It’ss soOO DarRKKkkK

I try calling him again. Nothing.

Me: ANSWER YOUR PHONE F–K FACE!!!!

Me: I’m going to kill you if this is a joke you’re genuinely starting to freak me out.

There was another long pause here before I finally started texting him again.

Me: Mar?

Me: Are you still there dude?

Me: ????

I try another call, still nothing.

Me: ANSWER YOUR F–KING PHONE!!!

Mario: ITt’sS soOooO COcold here

Mario: SOoo Cooldd

Mario: sOofd COoolddsa

Mario: Sosofo coOOLsd

Me: Please stop this

Mario: sosfOFJl coLODOJ

Mario: SooJDOK COlLDLOhfa

“The rest of his texts after this are just nothing but gibberish. He would send me a new one about every five minutes and continued to do so well into the night. I continually told him to stop whatever it was that he was doing and tried calling him several more times, but nothing was working,” CR Jones explained. 

After a while, he put his phone on silent, figuring that Mario would get bored of this prank once he realized he wouldn’t be getting a response.

The next day, he woke up to hundreds more messages from Mario. “Most of them were just lines and lines of the same s–t that he was texting me earlier. Nothing but gibberish. Nearly 112 messages of it … I sent him a text a little after waking up to see whether or not he was done with his bulls–t.”

After Mario failed to respond to this text, CR Jones received a visit from two police officers later that afternoon asking if he’d been in contact with his friend, as he’d been missing since 4 p.m. the previous day.

He continues, “I invited them inside and showed them my phone. They examined the text messages together for a very long time whispering things back and forth to each other before finally turning to me. They told me that the time stamps on the messages didn’t make any sense. I asked them what they were talking about and they said that Mario had left his phone behind whenever he had gone missing. There was no way that he could have sent those texts because he didn’t have his phone with him.

“I felt my entire body stiffen and go cold.”

If you’re thinking this story can’t possibly get any creepier, I assure you, it does. Read the full story here.

Were these text messages not scary enough for you? 

Though we aimed to pick the most goosebump-enducing ones, honorable mentions go to 1) the guy who received terrifying Facebook messages from his dead girlfriend 2) this kid who was texting his best friend who he didn’t know had died and 3) this person who got a phone call from his dead sister that caused him to question whether she really killed herself.

Source : https://undefined/trending/2018/09/26/Z1MCNzJ/texts-from-the-dead

27 Everyday Annoyances That'll Instantly Make You Rage

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It seems like every time I log into Instagram I see a bunch of inspirational quotes from yoga people that promote healthy thinking and being in zen states of mind by not allowing anyone to get you angry.

Like, “don’t sweat the small stuff” or some other platitude that makes you think you can easily cut out the shallow things that really, really get to you.

Well I’m sorry but it’s not that easy. I can’t do a downward-facing crane spiral pose and just pretend like a guy blasting garbage music on his speakerphone while everyone’s minding their own business on the train, not to mention taking up two seats with his backpack, is not going to bother me. It is going to bother me and I’m happy that it bothers me because I don’t ever want to be as ill-mannered as that piece of human garbage who I hope misplaces his ticket when the conductor comes by and is forced to step off the train and get stranded for hours before he finally makes it back to whatever snakepit he calls home.

Sorry, I might have gone a bit overboard for a second there, but I know there are more than a few people out there who get bothered by everyday annoyances, like these peeps in this AskReddit thread.

1

I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

2

GREAT! Now I have to get out of my car…

3

Zig-zaggers are infuriating.

4

It’s called a passing lane for a reason. If you aren’t passing in it, then get the heck out.

5

Headphones popping out your ears outta nowhere is mad infuriating.

6

The worst is when they’re eating apples.

7

I can’t help but mock them with a humpty-dumpty walk.

8

I’m not angry now, but I’m gonna get angry real soon.

9

Seriously I want to know who leaves trash in their shopping carts.

10

So. Many. Triggers.

11

You shouldn’t be given a license unless you’ve mastered the art of the creep roll.

12

There’s a reason I’m not turning, you moron.

13

Have you taken two seconds to look at me and what I’m doing?

14

Drivers just need to do better in general.

15

You trying to kill me?

16

Sure, thanks for the tip. Now can you finish pouring my coffee?

17

Hey there, you garbage song…

18

We’re eating at PB&J’s next time. I’m making sandwiches and we’re sitting on the couch.

19

I’m aware of my deadlines, co-worker/housemate.

20

Dispose of that cancer stick properly, please.

21

The terrible things about container ownership that Tupperware doesn’t warn you about.

22

Great, now I have to run to catch it.

23

Almost as bad as wet socks.

24

Gee, thanks. No, it’s not like I value my time or anything.

25

Total disregard for printer protocol.

26

We know you have horrible taste in music, you don’t need to advertise it.

27

Keep your hands to yourself.

Source : https://undefined/humor/2018/09/13/URmx2/instant-rage