Guy Obsessed with Motivational Speaker Can't Understand Why His Girlfriend Left Him

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Being obsessed with anyone or anything is always a relationship red flag. But the thing about an obsession is that usually the person who’s doing the obsessing is the primary resident of Denialsville.

So although everyone around them can see the obsession, they’re usually the last one to notice that they may have a problem, or maybe they never notice it before it’s too, too late. When that happens, a normal person would just cut their losses and work on making themselves better.

Or they could double-down on the denial and then turn to strangers for help and advice in a subconscious attempt to justify their obsession in order to come out as the blameless one. Which is exactly what happened with this dude when he posted to the Jordan Peterson subreddit for some relationship advice.

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Dr. JP is a Canadian clinical psychologist who’s developed quite a following, and some people take the man as a sort of guru for life advice. And there’s nothing wrong with looking up to someone for help and mentorship. It’s a beautiful thing when you feel like someone’s looking out for you or has your back.

But this young man seems to have taken his devotion to Jordan a little too far, so much so that his girlfriend couldn’t take it. When asking the internet for advice, it became abundantly clear that this dude’s girlfriend dodged a bullet.

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“I took my girlfriend to see Jordan Peterson. It did not go as well as I hoped. Let me give you a bit of a back story. I am using a throwaway because my girlfriend knows my main Reddit.

I found out about Jordan Peterson about a year ago and since then I became a huge fan. I was never a big reader, but I got all of his books. (They are the only books on my bookshelf and also a book about John F. Kennedy my aunt gave me but I never read. So I don’t have many books and it’s a small shelf.)”

I am 19 years old now. I met my girlfriend when we were 17 in high school. When I was 18, I moved out and began to go to the local university. My girlfriend is the same age as I am and she started classes there too. When I moved out is around the time I started reading Dr. Peterson’s work and I took the battle against chaos to heart. Mostly because I was a very messy person before. So I kept my new room very clean (I have a roommate who helps) and I was finally able to decorate it the way that I wanted since I moved out. Mostly I kept it simple and tasteful but I also have a big poster of Dr. Peterson in my room.

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When I began to see how important Dr. Peterson had become in my life, I started trying to get my girlfriend interested. But she did not seem very interested. I thought he could help her a lot, because when we met and she lived at home, she was a very messy and chaotic person also. We both were then. Since she moved out also and got a roommate, it has gotten even worse for her. I would say her room is about fifty percent messier than it was. She is slouching a lot. She is also very disorganized with her classes and note-taking (somehow she is still getting all As, I got all As too my first semester but I also got two Cs). I can’t even read or understand the notes she takes for her class. I tried to tell her to be more organized and less chaotic with it, that it would help her more, but I think it got annoying for her to hear it. 

Anyway when we would hang out, I would try to get her to listen to Dr. Peterson’s lectures but it always seemed like a chore or like she didn’t really want to. I found it really frustrating because he was so inspiring for me. Eventually I stopped putting them on because I would hear and see her sigh in an exaggerated way when I would put YouTube on with his lectures. 

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Not long ago, it was coming up on the day that we met (our anniversary) and we had a nice dinner at a seafood place we both really like. A few days later, I got us tickets to see Dr. Peterson speak. I had hoped that it would be better than the videos. She seemed excited to go and we had a nice night together. 

The next day we didn’t talk, which is normal these days with school and stuff. I sent her a text message the day after and she didn’t respond which I thought was weird. Then I did it the day after and still no response. She didn’t write back to me for four days! Until I sent her a long message just asking for an explanation for why she ghosted me or at least let me know she is okay. 

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A few days later, she finally sent me a long email. She said that she wanted some space and that she needed to think. That things were changing and that they weren’t the same as they were. She actually blamed Dr. Peterson for changing me! Which is true but I thought I changed for the better.  

She said I was being really strict with the cleanliness now and that I was saying too much about her being messy. That I wasn’t fun any more. And also she said that she wanted to see other people and that she wasn’t sure I was the person she wanted to be with forever in a relationship. This was very disappointing to see her go against monogamous relationships. 

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That isn’t all though. I talked to a mutual friend of ours and she told me some things really candidly. Our friend said that after seeing Jordan Peterson in person, my girlfriend was really weirded out. Because I cried a little bit there and there were other men crying too. (I didn’t think this was fair, there is no shame in crying.) Also that she felt like following Dr. Peterson’s advice made me kind of less fun and more boring than how I was when we met at 17.  

Basically that she thought I became a little too “obsessed” with him. She also said that my girlfriend thought some of the things Dr. Peterson said about relationships were chauvinistic and unrealistic. And then she (not my girlfriend but our friend) said she researched Dr. Peterson and that he hated women and kind of scolded me. 

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I told her that was just SJW … propaganda, that Dr. Peterson wasn’t really like that and she just didn’t understand him. She said I was “talking down” to her and that is why my girlfriend left me. (I don’t think she left me, she never said she didn’t want to see me any more btw.) 

Anyway what do I do? How do I fix this and get our friend and my girlfriend to be okay with Dr. Peterson?

Yikes. I mean, where to begin with this one? There’s a lot to unpack here, and there were more than a few people who were willing to throw in their two cents.

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Some graciously left out mentioning that he was crying at an event and didn’t ridicule him for that, but pretty much everyone in the comments section tried to make the obvious apparent to him: that his obsession was clearly an unhealthy one.

There’s nothing wrong with a man crying for something or someone that he loves or cares about, but that, coupled with the fact that he’s painfully unaware of his girlfriend’s own desires and needs and was totally self-absorbed makes it especially cringe-inducing.

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This one Redditor’s response, however, pretty much breaks down everything that was wrong with the young man’s statement, and broke it down for him, point-by-point, in case there was any confusion. It’s actually impressive, because I promise you that this man has helped this Redditor more than Jordan Peterson ever did:

You are being dumbed because you are prioritizing an internet personality over your actual relationships.

I’m sorry that nobody here is going to tell you the truth, but hearing the truth is how we learn as people.

Let’s review, shall we?

>She is also very disorganized with her classes and note-taking (somehow she is still getting all As, I got all As too my first semester but I also got two Cs).

If she is getting better grades than you, why are you trying to correct her? Overbearing and controlling behavior.

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>Anyway when we would hang out, I would try to get her to listen to Dr. Peterson’s lectures but it always seemed like a chore or like she didn’t really want to.

How would you feel if someone was playing feminist podcasts every time you hung out with them? Like they were trying to proselytize or recruit you into something?

>She actually blamed Dr. Peterson for changing me!

You started your post by saying that he did change you. You buy his books, you keep a poster of him in your room, you do as he tells you to and you try to recruit on his behalf.

He DID change you, by your own admission. Why would there be any “blame” ?

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>This was very disappointing to see her go against monogamous relationships.

“See other people” means “We’re done.” She was trying to let you down easy.

>Basically that she thought I became a little too “obsessed” with him

If someone only owned Stephen King books, had a Stephen King poster, constantly played Stephen King films to people who weren’t interested, would you say that person is “obsessed” with Stephen King ?

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> I told her that was just SJW … propaganda

So instead of actually having a conversation about the objections, you resorted to defensive, in-group approved language.

>she just didn’t understand him.

Again rather than actually having a conversation, you opted to defend an internet person who sells you books, rather than engaging in an actual relationship.

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>my girlfriend to be okay with Dr. Peterson?

Your final concern is not in fact your relationship but proselytizing your internet personality.

youdonegoofed1

God bless youdonegoofed1, if this kid takes his advice seriously and works on all of these things, he could really learn something from this whole debacle.

Source : https://undefined/trending/2018/10/22/ZeX0V8/jordan-peterson-obsession

The Internet Is Obsessed with One Girl's Impeccable Attempt at Class Photos

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Thanks to the internet, there is no shortage of class photos that are so absolutely priceless, they make us wish we hadn’t already graduated college. As fall rolls in and students everywhere are adapting to new schedules and getting their grasp on more homework and papers to write, it’s becoming every parent’s favorite time of the year: picture day.

I distinctly remember picture day growing up. It wasn’t as fun as it might have been for my non-uniformed peers who got to wear their favorite outfits and immortalize their youthful sense of fashion with academic backdrops of chalkboards and children’s books. But believe me when I say that the year I rocked braces and glasses was priceless enough, both for my memory all these years later and for my parents who received proofs of my ugly duckling “phase” in the mail.

And while I just shudder to think of those photos and whether my family even purchased any that year, other students are delighting the world — or at least, the internet — with their creative, hilarious, and inspiring attempts at picture day.

Addison’s class photos went viral when her mom, Laura Pyle, posted about them on Facebook.

She wrote: 

Y’all. THIS IS THE BEST [SCREW] UP I HAVE EVER DONE. 

I let Addison pick her dress out for picture day. She picked a green dress. I didn’t think anything of it… Until I received the email with her proofs in it.

THERE ARE 87 STYLES. I NEED THEM ALL. 

I originally ordered the purple.

And Laura even shared a sneak peek into these 87 ingenious pictures.

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It’s not exactly obvious from these headshots what makes the photos so incredibly unique and priceless, but if you’ve read about Addison’s outfit carefully, you might be able to imagine what’s coming.

Yup, that’s right. Her favorite dress, which Laura told Distractify “is currently a sparkly green number,” blended perfectly into all the academic and pastoral settings the photographer switched out for the green screen backdrop the class photos were taken against. 

“I told her she could choose her picture day outfit and that’s what she asked to wear,” her mother told us.

So imagine her surprise when she opened an email attachment from the school and realized just how incredible her daughter’s class photos were:

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I mean… WOW. It doesn’t matter if the photo’s shot in landscape or in portrait, with a backdrop scene of foliage or a patriotic American flag. It’s sheer perfection that actually only gets better the more class pictures of Addison you see.

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My personal favorite part of these pictures is how her dress shimmers no matter what color it turns into.

I asked Laura how she felt about her daughter’s sartorial choices, down to the beautiful necklace she chose to pair with her green dress. Laura says the necklace was one her “mother selected for [Addison] when she was a baby, before passing from cancer.”

As for the photos? “I was completely surprised,” she told Distractify. “I wasn’t thinking, and it never crossed my mind that her photographer might use a green screen.”

Come to think of it, this might be a modern technique, because I’m pretty sure school photographers brought their own classic blue-white-ish seamless that they rolled out and placed on a stand before asking us all to say “cheese.”

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“I posted a few screenshots on my page to give my friends and family a laugh at my mom-brain fail, and only made it public when a few asked to share,” Laura continued. “We still find her photos hilarious, we laugh every time we see them.” 

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To be honest, so do we. Especially at that impressive shimmer. As for Addison’s reaction to going viral? 

She is “loving all the wonderful comments she received from all over the world,” gushed her mom.

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The pictures are absolutely priceless, and I hope she keeps enough of them to be able to tell her kids how she became internet-famous at such a young age.

“We all have a healthy sense of humor, so we absolutely love them,” said Laura of the Pyle family. “And I love that so many people are getting a chuckle from my screw-up.”

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We commend Addison for her incredible foresight, which led to the most hilarious class photos to unintentionally grace the internet. 

I even asked the mom if Addison would keep her personal green-screen trend going up until high school graduation, as that would make for an amazing photo album over the years. 

“She already asked me if she could,” she replied. “Now that she knows what happens.” 

Keep up the viral fame, Addison! We look forward to your photos next year.

Source : https://undefined/trending/2018/10/11/Z2deckK/picture-day-outfit

Celebs Are Obsessed With Healing Crystals, but What the Eff Are They?

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Celebrities are crazy about healing crystals. Here’s a guide to what they are and their meanings.

In case you haven’t noticed, crystals are having a moment. Gone are the days where “healing crystals” were something only your hippie grandma used to peddle. Now they’re being touted by celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Kylie Jenner, and Adele. But it’s not for fashion purposes. Collectors say crystals have special healing powers that flush negative energy and even cure ailments. 

Although crystals have been around forever, they’ve only recently started taking off again around 2017, with Google searches for “crystal healing” increasing by 40 percent just over the past year alone. Although there are tons of hip retailers and Etsy sellers taking advantage of the trend (Free People sells clear crystal quartz for the insane price of $119), its biggest enthusiasts are celebrities. 

In fact, Kim even released a line of crystal-inspired perfumes in adorable clear quartz bottles last year. Her love of crystals began after the traumatic Paris situation where she was robbed at gunpoint. After the incident, friends and family gave her healing crystals as gifts.

“I wasn’t really into them,” she told Entertainment Tonight. “I didn’t know much about them. Enough people brought them over that I loved the shape, I loved holding it, and I felt like: ‘OK, this is it. I want something that I feel like calms me, is healing…'”

And it’s not just Kim. Celebrities are legit nuts about crystals. Supermodel Naomi Campbell refuses to fly without them, Kate Hudson keeps rose quartz in her pocket, and Robin Thicke once paid $20,000 for an amethyst stone. I mean, if Lady Gaga is getting naked and covering herself in quartz crystals, surely there must be something to all this, right?

You might be rolling your eyes, but for many, crystals are no joke. In addition to being Instagram-friendly, many celebs say crystals have special healing properties that help them with manifesting desires and even curing anxiety. But when celebs like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills‘ Brandi Glanville tweets things like,  “Thank God there’s moon issues because I’ve been very emotional today and I had zero reason why until now! Charge your crystals!,” we can’t help but scratch our heads a little. 

OK, so like…what is it?

Crystals have been around since ancient times and have been used for everything, from rituals to medicine. Because they naturally come from the Earth, many believe they possess vibrational energy that can be used for storage or release. Astrologist Aliza Kelly Faragher compares them to a “USB flash drive.” 

“These devices are designed to take on, store, and transfer information,” she wrote in a column for Allure. “Crystals function the same way.”

Although there are a medley of different crystals with different purposes and powers, the main functionality of crystals is to absorb negative energy, like stress or anxiety, and release positive energy, like finding a new love or career success. You can either place crystals around the house or carry them with you. As far as the crystal’s specific intention, that’s up to you. Many crystal enthusiasts say you must “cleanse” crystals first before “programming” them with your intentions. 

Crystals have no tie to any specific religion, allowing people to tailor a spiritual practice that’s unique to them, which many experts believe is the real reason why young people (and celebs) love them.

“I am so addicted to crystals, it’s like a sickness,” The Hill’s Spencer Pratt said back in 2010. “I’ve spent $500,000 on crystals this year. I checked my bank account last night, and I have $203 left …[On Valentine’s Day] we hung out with our puppies and cuddled with our crystal. It’s supposed to bring love… I’m not crazy.”

There’s actual science behind it…sort of.

Although there’s no hard scientific evidence to prove crystal healing works, many love to bring up IBM scientist Marcel Vogel, who was a huge crystal believer. Back in the ’80s, while in a lab observing a crystal under a microscope, he uncovered an amazing discovery:

“In the course of the study of this state under the microscope I noticed a remarkable event, namely that before the melt went into the liquid crystal state, a blue flash of light took place and then immediately after that, the sample transcended into the liquid crystal state. The flash of blue light witnessed through the microscope was the transfer of information from the level of light-coding to the physical plane. This is discussed in metaphysical literature, but had never before been witnessed and photographed.”

It sounds amazing, but considering Marcel once examined a stone he thought came from extraterrestrials, he’s probably not the most trusted source on it.

So what crystals should you get?

Clear Quartz

Walk into any crystal store as a beginner and the shopkeeper is going to push you to buy a basic clear quartz. It’s the most basic of the crystals, which makes it perfect for beginners. It also has the power to charge other crystals when placed beside them. 

“My crystal wand is incredibly special to me, and is one of my most cherished items,” model Miranda Kerr said in 2015. “It’s made of clear quartz and is studded with rose quartz. Clear quartz is a great stone for gathering, directing and transmitting energy … it can also transform negative energy into positive energy.”

Rose Quartz

Besides looking cute and having the perfect shade of “millennial pink,” the rose quartz is the crystal of love. Use it to deflect anger and open your heart to romance.

“I don’t stay single for long,” Katy Perry told Cosmopolitan in 2014. “I carry a lot of rose quartz, which attracts the male. Maybe I need to calm it down with amethyst.”

Citrine

This yellow-tinted stone is one of the strongest crystals for manifesting dreams or desires. Place it in a window or on your desk to stimulate your mind and give you a more optimistic outlook. Adele swears by citrine and won’t even perform without it.

“I was so nervous about my comeback show and I was panicking. I was out of practice and I was busy being a mum. But it was one of the best shows I’ve ever done and I had these bloody crystals in my hand,” she told The Sun. “Then the Grammys came and I lost my f–king crystals! I had a gig two or three days before them and I think I left them at this venue. It turned out to be the worst, most disastrous performance that I have ever done… But I got some new crystals now and everything’s been going well.”

Amethyst

This is a calming stone that’s great for tranquility, instilling balance into your life, and even curing addictions. If you’re into meditation, amethyst is especially useful for increasing your consciousness. 

“I never in a million years thought I would be that person that would be into all of that stuff, but I completely am,” Lucy Hale told People. “Basically, amethyst is the most positive stone there is, so if you put them in your house, they’re supposed to generate good energy. It’s very new for me, and I’m still learning a lot about it.”

Black Obsidian

While most crystals are good at absorbing, black crystals are for repelling energies, particularly negative ones. Victoria Beckham is so crazy about black crystals, she lines the runway with them at her fashion shows to ward off negativity. She also sews special pockets into her pants to carry her crystals.

“I’m a very spiritual person,” she told Allure in 2011. “I travel with my crystals. I’ve got all different colors. It’s just something that I’m into.”

But, of course, there are skeptics.

“Crystals don’t transmit a healing ‘vibratory frequency,” Tim Caulfield, a research director at the Health Law Institute, told The Guardian. “I can say, without hesitation, that from a scientific perspective this is complete nonsense. Yep, some are attractive. But wearing a crystal isn’t going to help align some magical life-force energy.”

Even Spencer Pratt, the biggest supporter of crystals, to the point where he called himself obsessive, has admitted that crystals don’t really do anything.

“I spent thousands of dollars having a wizard coach,” he told Entertainment Tonight in 2016. “Being a wizard, it’s pretty heavy. Going around with a wand, and people start looking at you weird when you’re wanding your coffee in the morning and whatever … Now I just love to look at [crystals], because I’ve moved past them having powers. If they had powers, I would be Kim Kardashian right now and not Spencer.”

Wow, touché.

More from Distractify

You Can Actually Jeopardize Your Health If You Follow Chrissy Teigen’s Beauty Advice

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Keeping Up With The Infidelities: Every Kardashian Cheating Scandal In Recent Memory

Source : https://www.distractify.com/entertainment/2018/07/27/Zt981H/how-to-use-crystals-for-healing

The Imperfection That Makes Your Significant Other Obsessed With You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Your naiveté.

For being as strong-willed and heavy headed as they are, Aries have a natural innocence and childlike wonder about them. It’s part of their charm, and it’s their perpetual curiosity that makes them avid thinkers and learners. It’s also what their partners tend to love the most about them: that they are so endlessly interested in things, and that they can at once be so unbelievably intelligent and yet so aloof at times, too.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Your contradictions.

A Taurus is a walking anomaly. They are eager to impress people, but even more so desire their friendship and affection. They say they like to be by themselves, but thrive in the company of the people they love most. They try to be content with life as it is, but can’t help but keep dreaming about how they can make things better. You never really know what to expect with a Taurus, and for those close to them, that little bit of unexpectedness loosens up their image of being “perfect,” and makes them all the more lovable.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Your over-eagerness.

Geminis may oscillate between their two “selves,” (or, more commonly, the different aspects of their personalities that they want the world to see). But one thing that really characterizes Geminis no matter what they’re doing is their eagerness to help, and to show up for the people they love. Geminis are always looking for ways to make life better for everyone around them, even if it means at times they step on toes or take on more than they can handle.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Your defensiveness.

Yes, Cancers are the sweet lovers of the zodiac, but what only those closest to them realize is that they are also easily provoked, and that can result in them cracking a few too many “jokes” about a (kind of serious) situation, or even being petty when something really gets to them. Cancers aren’t confrontational by nature, so they’ll store away their grievances and only let them out in passive aggressive slides. Though this certainly isn’t one of their better traits, seeing how defensive and protective they can be is endearing, and makes people want to commit as much as they do.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Your inner hunger.

When a Leo desires something, they crave it with their whole heart and being. This means that often, Leos will find themselves jumping from job to job, passion to passion, workout plan to workout plan. What may look like indecision on the surface is just the relentless work of someone who refuses to give up on what they really want, and that’s one of the most attractive things about a Leo.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

Your sensitivity.

Virgos aren’t usually pinned for being sensitive (hi, Pisces) but they are, and very much so. They care deeply about what others think of them, and whether or not they are measuring up in life. They are extremely sensitive to other people’s needs and always want to be doing whatever they can to stay in good graces with the people they love. It may make them a bit paranoid and unruly at times, but their soft hearts are what make Virgos amazing.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

Your secret toughness.

Libras are the kings and queens of everything jovial, charming and easygoing, so it can be almost shocking to discover they truly have a rough and tough side, especially when it comes to defending the people they love. Sure, it’s a departure from their usual loveliness, but the people closest to Libras love to see their inner fire come out and watch them be totally passionate about something, even beyond reason. It’s a nice change of pace from their usual even-temperedness.

Scorpio (October 23-November 22)

Your intensity.

Scorpios are the most ferocious sign of the zodiac, and they are not the people you want to cross. However, the real magic of a Scorpio is that they are so subtly intense you might miss their passive aggressive comments if you aren’t quite paying attention. For the people closest to Scorpios, they love watching how seriously they take the world sometimes, and the dire lengths they will go to if their friend or loved one needs something.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22)

Your dry humor.

Sagittarians are both known for being hilariously dry… and then sometimes, taking those jokes just a hair too far. In fact, one of the biggest things that gets them into trouble is not knowing when a joke it “too much” or when being too honest is actually being a tiny bit hurtful. But in the end, this kind of radical honesty and candor for life is something that makes Sags so attractive to their partners; making them laugh is a huge part of their relationship equation.

Capricorn (December 23-January 19)

Their earnestness.

Capricorns are like, the most earnest people on the planet. They take everything so seriously and think so hard about everything and try so much all the time that they end up complicating things much more than they really need to. Though this is often what lands them in times of stress and confusion, in a world that values a carefree, cool attitude at all times, showing that you care is one of the most endearing things a person can do.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

Their decisiveness.

Aquarians exist in a world unto itself, and so it is actually surprising to learn that Aquarians also have very intense concepts of “right and wrong,” and they are almost constantly trying to create within their lives more of what they deem noble. Known as the sign that’s just kind of, well, out there, it can be surprising to learn that they are so opinionated about, well, everything, but they are – and it’s one of the most interesting things about them.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Their flair for drama.

Pisces are pegged for a lot of things: being creative, aloof, sensitive… but not often dramatic, which is interesting, because “drama” is what happens when you put all of those traits together. It might not seem like an appealing trait in a relationship, but when someone will go to the ends of the Earth to enact grand gestures of love and genuinely seem devastated every time you have an argument, it gives you the sense that they really, deeply care. Nobody can convince someone they are their soulmate like a Pisces. TC mark

Source : https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2018/06/the-imperfection-that-makes-your-significant-other-obsessed-with-you-based-on-your-zodiac-sign/