In the past, there have been days where I wanted to give up because I felt like trying was pointless. Days when I insisted on remaining in bed because I failed to find a good enough reason to get dressed. Days when my hope was gone and a devastating numbness took its place.
On those days, I nearly let my dreams slip from my grasp. I considered settling instead of reaching for the stars. I came close to giving up what meant the most to me because I was convinced I would never make it.
However, it’s not like that anymore.
I am slowly learning that my motivation does not have to dip just because I am feeling unsure of myself. I am slowly learning that there are plenty of people who put themselves out there anyway, even though their confidence has been shaken. I am slowly learning there are times when I’ll have to fake it for a while until my hope comes bouncing back.
It’s not the easiest thing in the world. There are still days where I doubt whether I am going to succeed — but instead of letting that fear shove me backwards, I keep slogging forward. I listen to the doubts nagging the back of my mind and decide to prove them wrong. I take them as a challenge. I let them motivate me to push even harder.
I am slowly learning failure is not a signal to stop. Sometimes failure is a way of learning what does and does not work. Sometimes failure is a reminder that patience is an ingredient in success. Sometimes failure is placed along the road so that the destination feels that much sweeter once it has been reached.
I am slowly learning how natural it is to doubt myself. Not every single day is going to be a good one. Some are going to be more difficult to get through than others.
There will be times when I work my ass off but remain in the same exact place — or maybe even slip backwards — but that is okay. That is part of the process.
I am slowly learning that I cannot keep walking away when the slightest thing goes askew. I have to stand my ground. I have to prove my worth. I have to keep trying and trying until the day I finally succeed.
I am not a quitter. Not when it comes to my passions. Even if I fail to reach the goals I have in mind, I am still going to enjoy the journey, because I am doing what I love. I am making the right decisions for me.
I am slowly learning that even if I have doubts about whether I am going to succeed in what I set out to do or whether I am going to make a complete fool out of myself, I should still go for it. I should still try. I should not let my fears hold me back. I should take a risk because there’s no telling what will happen once I do.